Unexpected and Early: My Preterm Birth Story
Why I jumped at the chance to direct “The Value of One Week” video, part of Bloomlife’s empowering campaign for Prematurity Awareness Month.
by Lara Everly, Director
My first son came two months early. We still don’t know why and may never know. It was a textbook pregnancy. I was active and healthy and everything looked great along the way. A couple days before I went into labor, my husband and I hiked in the sand dunes of Death Valley. No cell phone service. It feels risky in hindsight but then it never occurred to me that I could go into labor that early. I was only 31 weeks pregnant and I thought I was so responsible for picking a destination that didn’t require any air travel.
I realize now how close we came to having a sand dune baby (or emergency airlift to Las Vegas). My spontaneous preterm labor started days after our return home to Los Angeles.
I was 32 weeks pregnant to the day and didn’t have a hospital bag packed. We went to the hospital but I was certain I wasn’t really in labor, just cramping. My son was born less than 24 hours later.
Finding Empowerment in the Preterm Birth Story
In tackling the creative for Bloomlife’s The Value of One Week campaign video, I wanted to make sure that we showed our pregnant woman in a powerful light. I wanted to extract any feelings of being a victim out of the equation.
It was a hard challenge, but I wanted to approach both premature babies and their moms as warriors. I believe that rollercoaster of a journey has made me a stronger parent and made me more patient and grateful for the chaos of motherhood. It’s been a lesson in endurance and putting things in perspective. And I look at my thriving, incredibly smart, super caring and strong three year old and I see nothing but resilience.
This is what I wanted to capture in the video.
My Rollercoaster
In sunny Los Angeles, I gave birth in a torrential storm.
We arrived at the hospital at 10pm. They thought they could stop the contractions, but at 4am, the head of the NICU came down to talk to us about the risks of having a preemie born at 32 weeks. I heard lung failure and brain damage and then, just like in the movies, there was a ringing in my ears. The doctor’s mouth was moving but all I could hear was a drone. In that moment, I knew I needed to stay calm and brave for my son. I didn’t have the space to compute the negative.
When it comes to preterm birth, it’s not just about the babies. It’s about us too.
The next morning the nurses told my husband to brave the rain and go home and get a few things — that everything seemed under control and the labor might stop. Of course it was then, when I was alone, that I stood up to go the bathroom and blood ran down my legs. Things had turned and the nurses started to take the contractions much more seriously.
By the afternoon I was 7.5cm dilated and my doctor could feel the baby’s head by simply reaching inside. I was so scared I was convulsing like a leaf on the operating table. A NICU team of about 12 people came into the OR and disco music was playing (which actually felt weirdly appropriate because his in-utero name was Disco.) They cut me open and took out my son. They brought him to me briefly so I could see him and then, seconds later, he was gone. I wasn’t allowed to go up to the NICU to see him that night. I Facetimed with him on an iPad (as much as one can Facetime with an infant.)
Leaving the hospital days later without my child was gutting. It felt wrong leaving. I came with him in my belly and I left without him in my arms.
Leo stayed in the NICU for 3.5 weeks. We know we’re the lucky ones, but those weeks were the epitome of life interrupted. Everything else fell away. Every day we drove the traffic-filled streets to the NICU. We stayed there with him, holding him on our chests, singing softly or talking to him while we did skin to skin. We didn’t know what day it was, whether it was a weekday or a weekend. Life was a blur. We stared at monitors for events — heart rate drops and apnea. I pumped every three hours on the clock, day and night, creating an insane over supply. There was nowhere to lie down in the NICU so healing from a c-section felt near impossible.
Being able to bring him home was one of the best days of my life.
It’s About Us Too
I was immediately drawn to making the video with Bloomlife because I believe that better understanding pregnancy and empowering women can be crucial in the fight against prematurity.
Moms of preemies need better support. We shouldn’t have to heal from c-sections, or any birth, sitting upright in a hard NICU chair. We shouldn’t have to eat up our maternity leave while our baby is learning how to breathe and eat on his own. We shouldn’t have to drown in medical bills. For 3.5 weeks in the NICU the hospital charged our insurance over half a million dollars.
When it comes to preterm birth, it’s not just about the babies, it’s about us too. Bloomlife gets that and I’m glad I could play a part in sharing that message.
